This year is my second Thanksgiving without my family. That is, my old family.
You’d think I’d be sad about not celebrating Thanksgiving with my parents, seeing as that’s been the tradition for over twenty years. On the contrary though, this is one of the first thanksgivings in years where I’ve truly felt thankful. I finally get to celebrate this holiday with people who love me. That is, love me for who I am, no conditions or strings attached. No amount of good food can make up for having to walk on eggshells.
In many ways I’ve lost the family I once had, I’m still on good terms with my parents but I don’t feel comfortable around them because of past trauma, not to mention their coldness to who I am as a person. Most of my extended family is very distant physically and/or in their relationship towards me, some aren’t even on speaking terms (with the notable exception of my awesome cousin, Jinx). Concurrently, many of the friends I had in prior years I lost or became more distant when I left the church since that’s where much of my social circle started from. To top it off, my Grandma, one of the few relatives who genuinely loved me as I am, passed away in January of this year.
But then, I found a new family. In 2020 I met my wife; my soulmate, my everything, and the light of my life. The two of us started a life together of our own with our derpy dog. Last Christmas, the two of us got married in our apartment with two of our best friends as witnesses. One of those friends later became our girlfriend, moved in with us to escape her abusive family, and the three of us just passed our three month anniversary together as partners. This is our first Thanksgiving together, and we’re joined for dinner by our other bestie whose boyfriend is away in the Navy and missed out on her family’s Thanksgiving dinners due to work.
As I sit here on the couch writing, while my wife plays Sims 4, our girlfriend works on her bullet journals, and our dog naps with his nose pointed longingly at the kitchen, all I can think of is how thankful I am. Thankful that despite losing most of our respective families, we found family in each other. Thankful that I live in a house where I feel safe and loved. Thankful that despite losing most of my social circle and friends, I gained new friends that are closer than much of my extended family ever was. Thankful that I gained a solid career with a good future. Thankful that instead of feeling constant anxiety and despair, my life is now filled with overwhelming hope and joy.
Happy Thanksgiving from your favorite music-nerd trans girl, her beautiful wife, adorable girlfriend, and goofy black lab!